Thursday, March 4, 2010

Rainbow Baby

After becoming part of world of parents who have lost a child (or children) due to miscarriage, neonatal/infant death or stillbirth, I also quickly became acquainted with the term RAINBOW BABY(IES). Babies born to families after the loss of a child are often referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. It goes without saying that when a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope. A rainbow baby shows its parents that there is joy and happiness to life.

This is were we are today. We are beyond grateful to have Max with us. He is a beautiful little soul and has brought so much happiness to our family over the past 4 weeks. It feels good to remember how happiness feels. We are constantly missing Lucas especially when we look at pictures like these:

Lucas taking a bath:

Max taking a bath:

They are brothers for sure and look so much alike. We are happy to find all these similarities between the two, but it also makes us miss Lucas even more.

Tomorrow, we will start a journey of "NEW." Max is one month old tomorrow and from there on out everything will be new to us. We never got to experience life with a newborn beyond the one month mark. We are excited to be at this place in our lives and we enjoy every minute of it; however, we are also moving cautiously and hope that the joy will never end.


  1. Brothers...they are so beautiful. Praying for strength as you pass the one month mark.

  2. Susi, oh what sweet pictures. I have all of that "NEW" stuff ahead of me, too. Scares me, yet delights me. And it will make me sad, so sad, to not have experienced it before with Thomas. Thank you for posting this. So true.

  3. I dont know how I found your blog, He Will Carry Me possibly?? But I check in every once in awhile and just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and so happy for this new "Rainbow" in your life. Good luck with everything and stay strong.

  4. Susi, what a poignant post. Thinking of you and keeping Lucas close to my heart.

  5. Oh Susi,
    Max is such a beautiful (and bittersweet, I know) reminder of Lucas! Congratulations on the courage and strength that it took to carry your Rainbow Baby. I know those motions took a great deal of faith, at least that's how it felt for me!

    Kat @ Keeping the Faith

  6. They are both little darlings! I have no doubt that you will have a rough time ahead but Max will show you a whole new world and hold a little piece of Lucas with him ;)

    Lots of hugs my friend!

  7. Hi Susi, thanks for the sweet comments on my (Tate's) blog and I'll do my best to answer your questions! At 10 weeks--on Sunday--he's eating about 32 ounces of breastmilk a day in 7 or 8 feedings. It's hard to be exact about this because I've been feeding on demand rather than on a schedule, but that's my best estimate. I usually do the final feeding of the night around 10:30 or 11 PM, and then he's up for a middle-of-the-night feeding around 3:30 AM. He usually goes back to sleep at that point until 7:00 or 7:30 AM, so he's sleeping in 4-5 hour chunks pretty regularly now. But much of that has happened over the past month, so if your Max isn't sleeping that much at 1 month, don't worry a bit about it! I think it varies so much from baby to baby, and at 1 month Tate was only sleeping about 3 hours at a time.

    Enjoy your beautiful little boy! It really is stunning how much he resembles Lucas. Hugs to you, sweet friend.

  8. Suzie,
    This is a beautiful post. Lucas and Max look so much alike in that picture taking a bath!!! I admire your stenght. I am glad you have your Rainbow baby to help you through this path.
    Lots of Love,