It is about 3AM in the morning and I have been laying wide awake in bed. My head is spinning from all the different thoughts that are floating around in there.
To the outside person, I appear as a happy normal pregnant women who looks like she is going to give birth any minute. To anyone who knows me and has been part of my life....well, they know it is different. I am happy, actually very happy, to be pregnant and the anticipation to meet this little person who is growing inside of me is getting bigger by the day. However, with every day that passes by and with only a few more days left of being pregnant with Peanut, the fear and anxiety of "what ifs" creeps in. Anyone who has lost a baby will tell you that once you enter the world of "babylost mothers", you have a complete different perspective. I have seen and read about too many stories of what can go wrong. I have heard about too many mothers who were pregnant and did not bring home their baby, mothers who left the hospitals empty handed. And I have heard about too many mothers, who brought home their babies, and yet did not get to raise them for very long.
I am hopeful that we will get to see little Peanut grow old and strong. I am hopeful that he will outlive his parents especially knowing that he has his very own guardian angel. And yet I am full of fear....I can't bear the thought of the "what if something goes wrong again." We were part of a statistic before - Lucas' undiagnosed heart defect has a 2-3% chance of occurring.
Today and any other day, I am trying to focus on the fact that most babies do come home with their parents when they leave the hospital and most babies live long, happy, and healthy lives.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
36 Week Update
We had another growth scan on Monday and I thought I'll post a quick update of our hopefully last ultrasound. The little man looked great and was notably bothered by all the attention he was getting. He kept on kicking the technician as if he wanted her to stop invading his space.
The scan showed that Peanut is measuring 36 weeks in head size, 36 weeks in height (arm and leg bones) and ..... an unbelievable 39 weeks in the tummy, which puts him at an overall measurement of 37 weeks, 3 days (exactly one week ahead). His estimated weight is approximately 7 lbs 14 ounces and I decided that we should change his temporary name from PEANUT to CHUNKY MONKEY. And in case you are wondering, I have not been eating Ben & Jerry's famous Chunky Monkey ice cream.
In the second picture, he is resting his head on his fist. I guess his head, or should I say cheeks, must be getting a little heavy. He also made a little pouty lip to show how unhappy he was with the technician poking him to get his mommy a good shot of his face. I can't wait to kiss those little chubby cheeks.
And here is a belly shot the morning of the ultrasound at 36 weeks, 3 days (but who is counting).
I also went to my OB this afternoon and there are no changes. She said she will induce me at 39 weeks the earliest, so at least 2-3 more weeks to go. We'll see how much bigger he'll get by then. I for sure hope that he will not continue to gain at the .5 lbs / week rate that babies grow during their last few weeks of gestation.
The scan showed that Peanut is measuring 36 weeks in head size, 36 weeks in height (arm and leg bones) and ..... an unbelievable 39 weeks in the tummy, which puts him at an overall measurement of 37 weeks, 3 days (exactly one week ahead). His estimated weight is approximately 7 lbs 14 ounces and I decided that we should change his temporary name from PEANUT to CHUNKY MONKEY. And in case you are wondering, I have not been eating Ben & Jerry's famous Chunky Monkey ice cream.
In the second picture, he is resting his head on his fist. I guess his head, or should I say cheeks, must be getting a little heavy. He also made a little pouty lip to show how unhappy he was with the technician poking him to get his mommy a good shot of his face. I can't wait to kiss those little chubby cheeks.
And here is a belly shot the morning of the ultrasound at 36 weeks, 3 days (but who is counting).
I also went to my OB this afternoon and there are no changes. She said she will induce me at 39 weeks the earliest, so at least 2-3 more weeks to go. We'll see how much bigger he'll get by then. I for sure hope that he will not continue to gain at the .5 lbs / week rate that babies grow during their last few weeks of gestation.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Arts & Crafts
We decided a while ago that we will not change the nursery that we prepared for Lucas. We had put it together with so much love, hope and joy while preparing for Lucas' arrival. After not too much debate, we decided that it would only be right for Peanut to use his big brother's nursery as would most likely be the case if Lucas would still be here on earth with us. However, we thought that we should add a few little touches to make it special for Peanut as well since we are filled with joy and anticipation to meet this little guy.
My latest project involved a little arts & crafts and I thought I'll share. We went to IKEA and bought some plain white picture frames since the furniture in the nursery is white. I then thought that a white frame with white matting ... well, is just a little too white for my taste especially in a children's room. Here is what I did in pictures and I just love the results.
I started out with the plain white frame and scrapbook paper. I also bought some safari animal themed scrapbook stickers since the bedding and the rest of the room has a safari animal theme.
We have another ultrasound on Monday to check on his growth. Can't meet to see the little man again.
I then went ahead and cut the scrapbook paper to cover the white matting and added the little animal stickers to the three frames. The stickers are 3D and look really cute.
And last but not least, I had the hub hang the frames and now we are just waiting to fill them with precious pictures of our little Peanut (only 27 more days till my due date, but maybe he'll come sooner).
We have another ultrasound on Monday to check on the little man's growth. I can't wait to see him and I hope that he will be more coorperative with the pictures this time. I want to get a glance at his cute little face. I can't believe how close we are and I can't wait to hold him in my arms.
My latest project involved a little arts & crafts and I thought I'll share. We went to IKEA and bought some plain white picture frames since the furniture in the nursery is white. I then thought that a white frame with white matting ... well, is just a little too white for my taste especially in a children's room. Here is what I did in pictures and I just love the results.
I started out with the plain white frame and scrapbook paper. I also bought some safari animal themed scrapbook stickers since the bedding and the rest of the room has a safari animal theme.
We have another ultrasound on Monday to check on his growth. Can't meet to see the little man again.
I then went ahead and cut the scrapbook paper to cover the white matting and added the little animal stickers to the three frames. The stickers are 3D and look really cute.
And last but not least, I had the hub hang the frames and now we are just waiting to fill them with precious pictures of our little Peanut (only 27 more days till my due date, but maybe he'll come sooner).
We have another ultrasound on Monday to check on the little man's growth. I can't wait to see him and I hope that he will be more coorperative with the pictures this time. I want to get a glance at his cute little face. I can't believe how close we are and I can't wait to hold him in my arms.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
34 Week Ultrasound
We had our 34 week growth ultrasound with Peanut yesterday. We had been counting down the day to get to see our little man again. We were looking forward to the ultrasound all throughout the holidays and also telling ourselves that it will be the last time we'll see him on a monitor. In our minds, the next time we would get to see him it would be on his birthday.
Yesterday's stats are as follows: Peanut is supposedly a BIG baby (causing a little panic on my end). At 34 weeks 3 days, he is measuring ahead - he is measuring 35 weeks 6 days. His current estimated weight is approximately 6 lbs 10 oz. His head, arms and leg only measure about 1 week ahead; however, his abdomen was in the 98% percentile for his gestational age. Maybe he had just finished with his breakfast? After all, my appointment was at 8.30AM.
Much to our surprise, we were told to come back for another growth ultrasound in 2 weeks. I am happy to go back to see him again; however, we were sort of hoping that the next time we'll see him we'll actually get to hold him. I am hoping that when I meet with my OB at my next appointment, which is Friday, that she will give me the option to be induced at 38 or 39 weeks. I know that is probably wishful thinking.
Here are some pictures of yesterday's ultrasound. Just like last time, he was not happy about having his pictures taken. He just did not want to move his little hand in front of his face. The pictures are still cute and his nose looks just like Lucas' nose. Can't wait to meet him.
* The pictures have a little glare to them since I had to take a picture of them to get them uploaded. I haven't been able to get them scanned in yet. Hope you'll still be able to see his cute little chubby cheeks.
Yesterday's stats are as follows: Peanut is supposedly a BIG baby (causing a little panic on my end). At 34 weeks 3 days, he is measuring ahead - he is measuring 35 weeks 6 days. His current estimated weight is approximately 6 lbs 10 oz. His head, arms and leg only measure about 1 week ahead; however, his abdomen was in the 98% percentile for his gestational age. Maybe he had just finished with his breakfast? After all, my appointment was at 8.30AM.
Much to our surprise, we were told to come back for another growth ultrasound in 2 weeks. I am happy to go back to see him again; however, we were sort of hoping that the next time we'll see him we'll actually get to hold him. I am hoping that when I meet with my OB at my next appointment, which is Friday, that she will give me the option to be induced at 38 or 39 weeks. I know that is probably wishful thinking.
Here are some pictures of yesterday's ultrasound. Just like last time, he was not happy about having his pictures taken. He just did not want to move his little hand in front of his face. The pictures are still cute and his nose looks just like Lucas' nose. Can't wait to meet him.
* The pictures have a little glare to them since I had to take a picture of them to get them uploaded. I haven't been able to get them scanned in yet. Hope you'll still be able to see his cute little chubby cheeks.
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