With Lucas' 2nd birthday being only about 2 weeks away, I am really amazed at how Max as an addition to our family has helped our hearts to heal. He brings so much joy to us and really has showed us over the past 8 months that we are still capable of being a happy family. A family that is missing a little boy in every single picture, on family trips, holidays, birthdays and during our day to day activities, but happy nonetheless. Smiles, giggles and even laughter that comes from deep down your stomach (you know the one that makes your eyes tear and makes you hold your stomach) have made their way back into our house these past few months. I can truly say that I am happy these days.
I think of Lucas often and miss him terribly, but it's different these days. It does not hurt as terribly. It's more of a constant little sting. Of course I wish that Lucas was still here. And if there was anything in my power that I could do to change what has happened I would give 110% or more to reverse it.
Max, my little man, you will never know how much you have changed our lives. When I thought that I would never be capable of being happy, you slowly made your way deep down into my heart and started fixing what was shattered into millions of little pieces after we lost your big brother. With every little smile, giggle, touch, hug and now even kisses you put the broken pieces back together like a puzzle while constantly reminding me of your big brother Lucas. Both of you are so precious to me. Even though my heart will never be whole again and there will always be something missing for as long as I live, it is as close to being whole as it can get and it's all thanks to you my little sunshine.
Here are some long overdue pictures of Max (it was tough picking on the pics, so there are quite a few).